There exists a God in your body a deity in you, somewhere All who look upon you, they become detached from what they thought they knew from what they understood before And so begins the free fall… into a deep and glowing love for you
You are a carrier, spreading the seed of this great ailment throughout With each bat of each lash you do and with that smile and slow sure dance your words are bursting in my ears And so begins the free fall… into a deep and shining love for you
Thanks for reading.
Note: written into my phone in a club in Oxford early 2008.
Image Credit: Image is a still from the excellent film ‘Victoria‘ 2015.
In the bright cave of memories, retained lives a warm smile kept, always, for you Glowing with sharp precision it will not fade You painted the walls of this space I occupy
With no hint of any slight that could be held to you No reason for ill thought of any kind could be Though I leave you here, our story over You’re imprinted on the person you helped me become
You showed me a new map of the world Your mind caught mine and threw it wide open I’d never known such connections could exist though now friendship only it’s deeply revered
I remember how we lay on your narrow bed, listening Playing each other the records of the songs that shaped us You span me ‘Harvest’ I unreeled ‘Knock Knock’ Our minds at peace in the glow of your globe
When I felt the slow damp tears collecting in my heart How I hoped this map would lead us somewhere else I’d been so sure our river was longer with more meanders Still your wisdom remains, retained deep within my bones
You showed me a new map of the world Where you’d come from well, I’d never been there Now, I wonder if I’ll ever go but if I do, know I take you with me fondly, always, in my memory
Still your easy way has etched its map across my brain A place I think about so often A place I’ll never be sure I should have left…
The planets above wink down to me ‘It’s now or never’ they’re implying I feel her hand brush mine as we’re walking side by side her house is just around the corner I’m leaving town tomorrow it’s now or never…
A deep breath, I take I breathe deep stop my walking, suddenly she stops and turns to face me it’s now or never I tilt my head, crack a smile make a joke, stall a while and asking if I’m ‘okay?’ she steps one step toward me it’s now or never…
I take her warm hand in mine draw a breath deep down Think of all that could come of this she looks at our hands still holding then back up at me and for a moment we share a moment…
But I break our gaze walk her home hug her perfume divine and close as I walk away, alone again I concede, it’s never now; it’s never…
I’ve been remembering the garden we once tended I’ve been thinking of the petals that fell each autumn I’ve been working through the list of things we said but never did
And the rains that fell upon our garden and the snow that covered all
I’ve been remembering the garden we once enjoyed I’ve allowed myself some moments to reflect with clarity I’ve been feeling sadness for the trees that have since been felled
And the sun that fed our lawns and the snow that covered all and when it thawed you were ready to be gone
And all the seasons since… Now you’re with another’s child…
I’ve been remembering the garden the flowers but not the thorns I’ve been reminded of the feeling when spring was all we knew I’ve allowed myself some hours to wander through those flower beds once more
I can remember how that snow felt even now; I can smell the rain I accept that all things end that’s just the way of things that’s just the way of all things
And all the seasons since… I hope your new garden is blossoming now…