What have you done with the daylight? What have you done with all you’d waited for, so patiently those long days of nothing those long days of stumbling lost between the armchair and the fridge What have you done with the daylight?
What have you done with the daylight? Since it came to you completely painted so beautifully smiling down and sunny licking the edges of your everything a warmth you’d doubted could be possible What have you done with the daylight?
What have you done with the daylight? Did you let it bless the hours you were woken did you pull it close to you and give thanks for every moment not still scraping through the blackness that you thought was never ending What have you done with the daylight?
What have you done with the daylight? Did you take its hand in yours put a ring upon its finger did you skip town and start a family and make a pact to cherish always the brightness of that feeling What have you done with the daylight?
Her skin is pale in the early evening hanging upside down from the foot of an unmade bed feeling weightless watching the world beyond the window where Autumn rain falls upward and lights divide
No appetite in this dark room no appetite for days friends all kept at bay no rubber masks, only patches of ice no fireworks, just fallen leaves collecting passing headlights flood the room then scan across the ceiling
Blood is pounding in her ears ‘I’m losing weight’ she thinks As puddles form in the street outside the shops all wear their shutters down She reaches up, closes her eyes pushes two thumbs into the carpet and whispers
‘With every second slipping away we become strangers with every second sliding away I cease to belong to anyone, to anything and strangers we will always be…’
The endlessness of loneliness the faceless prison guard rattles their keys but there is no release as she hangs upside down doing all she can not to break into a thousand pieces
And, strangers, we’ll always be…
[2019 – photo by fellow poet and creator of beautiful digital art: Delia… www.poeeternal.com please check her out.]
Boomeranging in the snowy streets it all comes back around to this; that loneliness breeds contempt for the company of others
Under a bridge by the station I kissed, when I was fifteen I kissed hard and passionate I kissed… no one Then, at sixteen, under that bridge or anywhere for that matter I kissed no one I just lay in my darkened room I lay in wait; alone
Ten years on and I’m still waiting but I’ve kissed, O, what I haven’t kissed isn’t worth mentioning yet I’m still waiting now
All the people there are talking still I’m happier alone, dreaming more comfortable on my own dreaming again of finding my place
While; under bridges down-town or by rivers, roads, colleges, canals I kiss all of them, all I couldn’t before each pair of lips, another conquest I’ll show the other me how things are done I’ll show him what he should have done
This howling wind rips through me this empty cavity screams deep such a thirst to contain something and when it does, it comes and goes I only ever know when it’s too late
And I kiss anything I’d kiss anything to understand this I’d kiss anyone to know just what is missing and I kiss anyone anyone but you…
I watched Elena bathing in the pool of the lower garden amid birdsong and toiling insect light shimmering in the heat she’s a big girl, there’s more to love and the water must feel warm against her toes O, life is kind some days
I watched Elena swim, for hours to and fro, up and down the pool my father dug there is nothing of which she’s ashamed stepping from the water, standing bare stretching hands above her head and diving at the deep end my eyes there with her every movement
I watched Elena sunbathe on a bamboo bench against the North wall she looked so bronze and peaceful in the quiet of the lower terrace spiders scuttling across the backs of my knees lying face down in the tree house O, life is kind sometimes
I watched Elena stepping back into her dress as the sun contemplated a slow retreat picking up her wicker bag, she rolled back across the wall hopped down onto the dusty gravel road wandered slowly back into the town
I found her necklace, left at the water’s edge wrapped it twice around my thin wrist flicked a long nail against the hanging ‘E’ longingly, I watched the fiery light dance upon the water but I never saw Elena again…
Acquainting myself with the moon trapped behind glass exchanging glances and on my back a thousand heart-attacks roll past My fingers cross and uncross as she sleeps, so black back in the real world paid-up entirely on her subscription to actual reality
Might you return with a souvenir for me from the envious depths of endless peace perhaps a child or a patient nurse or some control with a button for reverse My fingers press that longed-for switch watch deeds recoil back into the body where I don’t turn that key don’t cross that threshold slipping backwards, contentedly from actual reality
Moonshine lights the shore as I drag the boat of all my swimming thoughts along a silver stretch of sand where all the land behind no longer matters a bowl of sea, insignificantly the only thing between the horizon and me but crossing is possible with the coins that you earn waking night after night and each mile is a measurement you take from actual reality
This father feeling takes over My child in a superposition only alive inside its mother between the hours of two and six AM a phantom haunting, stalking poised with talons drawn to fly this solipsistic me drop him heavily back in the sticky city streets of actual reality…
So then, stick by stick tonight we tear off strip after strip the newest feathers first then the older twigs and vines with each one my heart drops until there’s nothing left and nowhere lower just empty branches where our sweet home once was
Inch by inch we pack and divide the moss all the soft things we’ve collected years of careful, loving selection pecking them away, each and every one my heart stops as we place them in our beaks to separate forever over an unknown distance just a meaningless assortment of what once was our sweet home
Doing what we know we must we both say it’s for the best the home we had just turns to dust pull apart the perfect nest
You fly south I stay north and never again will our sweet home be here…